Cleo’s guest blogger, Elana Kilkenny, a renowned “empowerment psychic,” offers her advice on how to “come home to you and your home.” Part life coach, part intuitive counselor, part sacred space designer, Kilkenny is the perfect balance of practical and practical magic. Drawing on her psychic ability to tune into where you’re at in your life (yes, she gets messages from your spirit guides, but it’s not about tarot predictions about when the love of your life will turn up), she examines your past, present, and future to look at patterns that are nourishing you and ones that are challenging you. She then offers specific feedback and realistic ways on how to make sustainable changes toward the direction of thriving.
Live your truth, lose the guilt
Right now, we are living through the ultimate master class in patience and the importance of being present. Firstly, it’s essential to live your truth and look at yourself as a work in process. Then lean into change with less judgment while being careful of the urge toward perfectionism, which is an illusion steeped in the need to control when we feel out of control and which can disrupt your sense of connection and peace. There are so many webinars and calls to action that can make you feel like you don’t measure up, so pay attention to your inner dialogue, and adopt a mindset of patience, surrender, and gratitude. We are all in survival mode, navigating working from home, and wanting to create the perfect space. Meanwhile, the fault lines in your relationship with yourself, your partner, kids, and roommates are more exacerbated and dramatic right now, so be kind to yourself and those around you.
Daily moments of grace
As with any difficult or even devastating experience, remember you always have agency over how you respond to challenges. Seek out the hidden gifts and opportunities amid all of the chaos and uncertainty. Over dinner with your family or roommates is a good time to take a deep breath and discuss your rose and thorn. Your thorn is something that was prickly or challenging in your day, and your rose is something that you’re grateful for and that brings you a sense of joy. Always end on a rose. I call these daily moments of grace, and they can be found in the simplest things. Every day I go around and open the windows in different rooms to get the air flowing and nourish my health and the energy of our home. I also take a moment to stop what I am doing and be grateful for the ability to breathe in fresh air and look out the window at so many pretty things. I also adore Sara Auster, who is currently offering free sound baths on her Instagram page that are wholehearted magic. Making playlists for different moods is also an escape. I have one called “Dreaming of Paris,” and in moments of drudgery I play some upbeat Beyonce or Bossa Nova.
Organization = inner peace
As much as you can — without guilt —use this time to organize your home. There’s a reason that there are a million articles about how organizing your space brings more peace and helps you navigate better. Create zones in your home for different things, and try to get on some sort of schedule (again without guilt), especially for meals if you are tasked with making them. I love to cook, but I have to prepare more meals and snacks now. Like most New Yorkers, I have a small apartment with limited counter space. With only one grocery delivery per week, I ended up having a lot of loaves of bread stacking up on top of each other, and it was making me crazy. So I researched bread bins and found the ideal one that folds down to store all the bread, keep it fresher, and create more counter space. For great organizational and home styling product tips and advice, I love The Container Store, The Home Edit, and Laura Cattano for her no-nonsense, one-size-does-not-fit-all approach.
Come home to your home, and to you
Our homes are a creative expression of ourselves, and if you can be more intentional in the beauty, design, and energy of your home, amazing things can happen. A great way to make your home a sacred space is to see it through fresh eyes. Adopt a curious mindset and release all judgment, and then start inside at your front door and walk through your home in a different way than you usually would. Go room by room, looking at all the areas in your home including closets and clutter zones. What stands out? What irritates you? What do you love, or never loved, and what areas or hidden spaces do you not see anymore? Where organizationally are you getting stuck? Then sit on the floor in the main room, close your eyes, and think about what you want to change. Put away the how for now, and lean into any action items that call to you.
Sacred space design
There is something empowering in the notion of “change your home, change your life.” Some go-to things that will uplift your space and add more beauty, vibrancy, intention, and functionality are throw pillows and curtains (try Drew Barrymore Flower Home at Walmart). Consider investing in beautiful sheets (check out Coyuchi) and art you love, whether that’s paintings, photography, or sculpture. Etsy has a fantastic array of artisans, and Claude Winn does beautiful abstract art that is reasonably inexpensive. Plants are also beautiful, bring nature into your home, and support a healthier environment by cleaning the air and absorbing toxins. I love Terrain, PlantVine, and Bloomscape who all offer a vast assortment of types and sizes (don’t be afraid to play with scale) that come in potted in beautiful planters. (Newbies should look to buy pots with drainage.) It’s also peony season, and these gorgeous flowers (or any flowers) are a wonderful way to add a sense of spring to your space.
Dare to dream
It’s an excellent time to dream, even if you can’t make those dreams a reality. I found this little painting of a lake in the country when cleaning out a closet recently, and immediately felt the longing to be back in nature and in an expansive space — and yes, it made me a little sad (lean in to all your emotions). So I hung it near a window in my kitchen, and for a moment, I swear that I could feel the breeze, smell the mountain air, and hear the water. Now when I cook, I watch Somebody Feed Phil, by the delightful Philip Rosenthal, and feel so inspired. In a recent episode, he went to Venice and cooked a delicious pasta, so my love of food and wanderlust kicked in. By opening a metaphorical window to the things you miss, you won’t feel like you’re living in a hellish version of Groundhog Day.
Create an altar to bring in peace and abundance
You can also make an altar space or vision board on a windowsill or corner of your room filled with glorious things that will better your life, as well as things that have dogged you for years, as this makes for a richer manifestation. Include something hard that you are working through. Is it a relationship you usually push away to the back of the closet in your head that keeps coming up? A letter you need to write, a conversation you need to have, an apology you long to receive (or give), a prayer you could say for divine intervention? Bring it into your altar through a picture of that person, a name, or something else that is symbolic of the issue as a reminder to do something about it.Empowerment Psychic Elana Kilkenny appears in Goop’s Guide to the Best Energy Healers, Intuitives and Mediums. Kilkenny offers private, personalized Intuitive Counseling and Sacred Space Design virtual sessions (globally) from her tranquil Manhattan home. To book a session go https://www.elanakilkenny.com/ and follow her on Instagram.